Life in the Mom Lane's blog

More Vain Than Ever ~ I know? Is that even Possible?

I Love Liposuction

Okay 9am, I'm at the surgery center and it's snazzzzzy ya'll! This place makes my HMO look like the free clinic and and I am soooo not exaggerating, okay, well I am but still. Still, this place is posh and I am so excited because even the receptionist is super pretty and I know this is going to be the greatest day ever.

Pre-Op Baby Daddy

Okay lets me just get it out of the way and say that if I had the money I would sooooo get addicted to plastic surgery, and here's why: As reported in an earlier entry, I shared that I was on the mission for a mommy makeover, the first half of which was performed last Thursday. The events leading up to this super pricey and totally vanity based decision was based on nothing less than weight loss and my incessant need to strive for all things pretty, a shallow characteristic passed on to me by my super gay dad.

You know when you forget to take your Prozac and then your day sucks but you're not sure if it really sucks or if you're just 20mg short of a blissed out afternoon? Oh, just me? Okay... moving on...

You know what I am soooo excited about?? You guessed it my faithful cult followers!!! The new Fleurville Get Away Weekend Bag is here, and I am sooooooo getting my hands on one, even if I have to yank my youngest out of pre-school for a month just to pay for it! So, he may have to repeat the 3rd grade or get a lazy eye; he'll be alright and I'll have my baaaaag. You see, I love a good bag, and travel bag?? Are you kidding me??

So in my world, where public schools still cost about three grand a year when you add up all the cash you have to fork out for spaghetti dinners, school tee-shirts, camping trips, class pictures, field trips, and general funds just to have a frickin aid in your kid's class or God forbid music every other full moon, all you can do is grin and bear it and sing the mantra, “It's less than private school.

Even at two, my son is a hedonist; he's loud, beautiful and totally pleasure driven. He still wears diapers at almost 3, sucks a binky and truth be told the kid has no desire to quit. Like a man, this son of mine loves his penis and this evening announced that he has big plans to ride his penis to the moon. My son loves Toblerone, television, the pumpkin patch and swimming. He wears Keens and pirate gear daily. Like any man in training, my bouncing baby boy hates to clean up after himself and revels in mess making. He's provocative, rude and slightly mischievous.